Greetings book lovers!
Today I’ve got Body Language by Tim Bartholomew — this is a book we published through Deep Desires Press (my company) and I love this story so much! I really think you’ll love it too!
The sequel, Getting to Grips, comes out early next year, so this is the perfect time to read Body Language.
Keep reading for the blurb, cover, excerpt, and more!
How long can a man escape his past with his virtue intact?
Naïve yet irresistible Andrew Billingham is a private French tutor working in London’s bohemian Pimlico area. When out jogging one day, he collides with the heart-stoppingly gorgeous Bryony. Falling head over heels on top of her, it is love at first sight.
However, Andrew’s life of adventurous love-making is overturned when Bryony’s employers send her abroad for six months. To add to Andrew’s woes, his winsome good looks and trusting nature make him an easy target for sexually unscrupulous foes just waiting for the opportunity to seduce and ambush him.
Ensnared by two predatory and vengeful women—one twenty-five years his senior—Andrew is plunged into a nightmare of unseemly passion, intrigue, and sexual enslavement. Can he come through this ordeal unscathed without losing the love of his life and the erotic bliss he enjoys with her?
Body Language is a 58,000 word erotic comedy, the first in the Slave to Beauty trilogy. If you like your books erotically-charged and fast-paced, then you’ll love Tim Bartholomew’s tender treatment of love and his devastating indictment of lust.
Scene: lovemaking in Fortnum and Mason’s third floor Gentlemen’s lavatory:
“Sorry I can’t run to a bedroom at The Ritz, my darling,” I pant, “but this is the nearest available love-nest on a chilly Sunday afternoon in spring.”
She seizes my jacket collar, pulls my face down, and kisses me again. “I’m not worried, Andrew.” She begins to unfasten the belt of her raincoat. “Go in and see if the coast’s clear.”
I push open the door and peer inside. High, frosted windows, an Art Deco tiled floor, urinals, and two cubicles; nobody in residence. “Come in quick,” I giggle. Bryony’s hands are flitting over her coat buttons. I lock the cubicle door behind us, my whole body tingling with anticipation. “This is very naughty,” I whisper, fumbling with my own belt.
“Take everything off,” she commands, wide-eyed. “I dare you!”
“Don’t be daft!” My heart is pounding. “What if somebody comes in?”
“We’ll just have to be perfectly still until they go again.” She untucks me and thrusts both hands inside my shirt. “Besides, a typical Fortnum’s customer will be too up his arse to notice! Strip or I’ll whistle for that leather dog!” She pushes my jacket off and tosses it into the corner while I slip kisses under her jaw. Her hand is suddenly back inside my boxers. I gasp as she squeezes me, fingers moving expertly and with exquisite sensitivity amongst my bits and pieces.
Breathless, hardly daring to move, I take her face in both hands. “Kiss me, Andrew,” she sighs, her brown eyes sparkling. “All over. And if you’re good, if you’re very good, I’ll take you––”
“For a Fortnum’s cream tea.” I suppress a delicious bubble of laughter, breathe her in. My lips explore her cheeks, linger over her mouth and finally seek out that favorite spot of hers behind her left ear. She quivers a little, the scent of her short hair intoxicating me. Her lips find mine once more and, as we kiss, I undo her jeans and reach between her thighs, pressing my hand against the front of her knickers and tilting her hips against me. She is warm with anticipation.
Ignoring the rest of my shirt buttons, I rip the garment over my head while she undoes my trousers. My shoes kicked off, blue chinos dropped to the floor, she crouches at my feet, holding down the front of my boxers and deftly taking the end of my dick between her lips. Her head rocking gently backwards and forwards, she pulls down my underwear and — this is a surreal touch, but she is a girl with standards — helps me off with my socks, one by one. Opening her glorious mouth again, my lover leans back on her haunches and looks me up down, appraising my naked body.
“Mmm, not bad, Andrew. Not bad at all.”
“Why thank you, beautiful. I do my best to give satisfaction.” Oscar Wilde is deeply embedded in my psyche; I feel he would have approved of our passion in so public a place.
Supporting herself on the stiffest thing she can find to hand, she pulls off her own blouse. Extending her arms, she braces herself between the cubicle walls, her long legs bare, hips at a seductive angle, her enticing burgundy lingerie perfectly toning with her pale skin. Such sensuous, perfumed beauty leaves me spellbound, even in a gents’ lavatory at Fortnum’s. At my approach, her body heaves and undulates with excitement. Gently, I let my fingertips glide outwards across her creamy cleavage and under her arms, reaching behind her to release the bra. Free of all constraints, her perfect breasts fall into my hands, warm and heavy. I cup them together, making her sigh by rubbing my thumbs gently across the nipples. “Well, hello again, you two,” I grin. “It’s been too long.”
“It’s been five hours, Andrew.”
“I wasn’t talking to you.”
“Sorry. Should’ve known better than to interrupt such a happy reunion.”
“Quite.” I pass my tongue slowly across first one nipple then the other. “Excuse me while I assume the position.” There is just enough room for me to kneel in front of Bryony. I push my nose once more into her cleavage, submerging myself for a delicious moment in her softness, rolling my face from side to side, kissing and licking between her breasts. The magically smooth warmth of her skin sends tingles of longing down to my toes.
She leans back now against the door and groans faintly as I travel downwards across her abdomen, my tongue tracing a damp line towards her navel. It’s my turn to hook thumbs into knickers, and I pull them firmly down so that she can step out. We are both naked. As each leg lifts, I stroke under her thigh with both hands, molding and massaging as if to memorize this exquisite form, this moment, forever. Unable to resist any longer, I slide my hands slowly around her hips until my little fingers meet under her buttocks. Closing my eyes, I push forward between her legs, tease her with the tip of my tongue. I feel her arcing her back, pressing her pelvic bone into me.
“Stand up,” she whispers. “Let me look at you.” A sudden hint of sadness flickers momentarily behind her eyes. I pause for a second, a dull dread invading me.
“What is it, Bryony?”
“Later, my love,” she smiles, a little too chirpily. “It’ll keep.” She kisses me, her teeth lingering on my lower lip. “Now, what have we here?” With a sudden movement, she cups my balls in one hand and pushes me gently backwards towards the lavatory seat.
“Sit down, gorgeous. It’s time.”
….. two pages later
“No, please!” I can hardly speak. “Thank you! You’re an absolute angel and––”
I never finish whatever platitude I am about to utter because at this point the gents’ door opens and someone comes bustling in, leather-soled shoes clattering on the tiled floor. Our door is rattled (as am I) before the visitor enters the adjacent cubicle. Coitus interruptus, we hear him slam over the bolt and unzip. A pause, and then the sounds of copious peeing. One shiny brown brogue visible under the partition; we shuffle our feet towards the wall.
“Thank God he’s not settling in for the long haul,” I mouth into Bryony’s slightly pointed, pixie-like ear. She is beginning to giggle, her body jiggling up and down with tiny movements.
“Keep still, you bad girl, or he’ll hear you!”
To my alarm, such concentration on our new neighbor is causing wilt. Although I am pushing myself into her as hard as I can, I take the precaution of pulling out some sheets of paper. My lover is now sniggering uncontrollably and, to cover any audible snorts, I cough twice and hum a snatch of “Oh, What a Wonderful World” which only makes matters worse. I am sweating with embarrassment. Our neighbor has finished peeing and is evidently involved with tucking the oldest member away again. “In your own time, old boy,” I mutter, glaring at the wall. “Off you fuck.”
“Be patient, my handsome,” whispers Bryony. “He’ll bugger off in a minute.” Her tongue slithers eagerly into my ear and begins to trace the internal contours. With a spare hand, she reaches down to fondle my balls again, making the curly black hairs in my loins tingle. A wet finger passes tantalizingly back and forth across my bottom and I feel myself starting to expand and tighten inside her again. “There’s a good boy.” She is smiling with satisfaction. “We didn’t want a disappointing mess, did we?”
We kiss again, half-listening to the man’s final preparations for departure. As his toilet flushes, we slip to the floor and there, crouched upon me, Bryony starts slowly, inexorably to move up and down again, digging her nails into my shoulders. Then, as the door adjacent to us bangs open, she comes in for a third orgasm, this time more vociferously. She is convulsed with laughter and I clap my hand over her mouth. “Bryony! Ssshhhh!”
There’s a sharp rap on the door. Our door. “Who’s in there?” demands an elderly, aristocratic voice. “What the devil’s going on?”
I have no suitable answer ready, but Bryony is undaunted: “Your turn next, old fruit,” she announces in a deep, camp voice. “Pop a pair of crisp fifties by the basin and then hop along outside and wait patiently like a good boy. I’ll be with you directly, just as soon as I’ve satisfied this most demanding of young customers.” She emphasizes her expertise by suddenly poking a finger into my bottom. I emit a yelp.
“Do you mind?” shouts our unseen guest. “You blasted perverts! I’ve a good mind to report you.” We hear him washing his hands and pulling out an extravagant sheaf of paper towels. (There was a time when Fortnum’s supplied neatly folded white flannels.) “Bloody pooftahs. Unbelievable! Should be horse-whipped, the both of you.” He utters a final growl of disapproval before banging the main door behind him. We both burst into snorts of laughter.
“Are we done here, mademoiselle?” I enquire eventually. “Or are you in the market for another couple?”
“Andrew, my handsomest of sex slaves, your work here is done. Except I need to use that loo. And then we might think about dressing again.”
About the Author:
Tim Bartholomew (www.timbartholomew.co.uk) is both a writer and actor, appearing most famously in TV commercials as Santa Claus for Marks & Spencer (2016) and the benign old Grandpa for Asda in their 2017 Christmas campaign.
Writing under the name Timothy Edward, his first comedy novel with “rude” bits, Lessons in Humiliation, received the following accolade from his old Dad: “Well, you’ve either had an unusual sex life or a very vivid imagination.” In point of fact, the reviewer was right on both counts.
Tim has also recorded the book for Amazon/Audible. At 10 hours 38 minutes, it makes ideal listening for long car journeys or flights. He is looking forward to recording Body Language too.
As they say in theatre programme credits, Tim has appeared on stage and screen for nearly twenty-five years, being cast normally as a benign old buffer, Captain Hook, a drag queen or a mad professor. According to one casting director, “it’s all about your rolling eyeballs, darling.” These days, however, Tim is aware that it’s all about his wrinkles: that lived-in face that earns him money for having fun in exotic locations.
In a varied career, Tim has also been an academic publisher, illustrator, music teacher, a payroll clerk and, in recent decades, a voice coach and Head of Drama at a mad school in Southern England. He draws material for his books from both his professional life, his own improbable experiences and, of course, family holidays.
Under his real name of Tim Baker, the author lives with his wife in Kent, the Garden of England. He is father to three boys and wicked stepfather to another boy and two girls, none of whom is inclined to read his erotic novels. He is an avid amateur photographer of birds—especially those of Trinidad and Tobago where his wife was born and upon whose glorious, secluded beaches Body Language opens and closes.