The Gay Couple’s Guide to Wedding Planning
By David Toussaint
The go-to guide for a kick-ass wedding! Before you say, I do, you’ve got a lot to do! This book reveals everything you need to know about planning the perfect wedding, from telling the folks to budgeting to writing vows that express what’s in your heart. The Gay Couple’s Guide to Wedding Planning is the perfect book for male couples who want to understand how to take the stress out of every stage of putting together a memorable ceremony and reception. In his lively, witty style, Toussaint reveals how to deal with relatives who may not be accepting of your lifestyle, how to search for gay-friendly vendors, and what grooms need to know about grooming. There are also fitness tips to keep guys in great shape. Featuring over 100 color photos, this user-friendly, 12-month guide walks you through all the essentials. There’s practical advice on booking a site, hiring a band or DJ (or a drag queen), registering for flowers, and deciding just how gay you want your honeymoon to be. There are tips on other considerations: do you throw two bachelor parties or one?; who proposes to whom?; do you need two best men?; and is it still okay to throw the bouquet? Toussaint includes advice for every budget with money-saving cheap tricks that will help you celebrate without breaking the bank. Inspiring true stories of gay couples who found wedded bliss are included throughout. The Gay Couple’s Guide to Wedding Planning is an indispensable resource for creating the ceremony of your dreams!
Well, if you missed the previous post here on my blog, you might have missed me saying that I’m engaged now — my partner proposed on our two-year anniversary. Since I have a history of planning big events (church services, open house conventions, etc), it’s fallen to me to do the bulk of the planning for our upcoming wedding. My partner’s skill is on the finer detail choices, which is sometimes where I have difficulty — so for the most part, I’ll be filtering the massive info-dump of wedding ideas and then taking them to my partner to do most of the finer detail choices.
Still, despite all of that, I don’t know how to plan a wedding. Part of it is that I’ve been to so few of them — I think the grand total is three weddings, and none of them have been same-sex. Like, seriously. Most people I know go to wedding after wedding, but for the most part, my friends and family haven’t been getting hitched — so I don’t have a pile of ideas from things I’ve seen. So… I went to the local bookstore and picked up this, the only same-sex wedding book on the shelf. (The girl at the till said that they normally have more and will probably stock a few more titles as wedding season heats up this month.)
I have to say I’m partly disappointed, but also appreciative. I’ve seen the wedding planning books for hetero couples (as I used to work in a bookstore and the reference section, which contained wedding resources, was my section to manage) and know of the super useful checklists and binders and resources and planners and idea books and picture books that are available. But for a gay wedding, which has different needs than a hetero wedding book, there is a distinct lack of resources. So, while I would have preferred something a little more comprehensive, filled with ideas and tiny detail checklists, this will have to do.
All that being said, I greatly enjoyed Toussaint’s take on the gay wedding. He starts each section by describing how it works at a hetero wedding, then discusses what traditions can be done away with, what should stay, and what could be modified to fit a same-sex pairing. And, perhaps most helpful of all, Toussaint discusses a wide variety of options, helping the reader to shake off the weight of centuries of tradition, enabling the couple to create a ceremony and reception that is unique, creative, memorable, romantic, and personal.
Toussaint’s greatest strength in this book is his empowering of the reader to do what they want. For example, my partner and I hate dancing (and I realize we are atypical gays for saying that), so we really don’t want a dance floor or a traditional reception that features dancing till midnight — and Toussaint tells us it’s okay to break with tradition, especially if we want to redesign our reception to be enjoyable and reflective of us.
Hmm… in summing up this book, its strengths and weaknesses, I’m actually glad this book was laid out as it was. While a few paragraphs above I said it could have been a little more comprehensive, I’m actually quite glad it’s not. This book is a quick and easy read and it makes a perfect starting place for the engaged couple in the beginning stages of wedding planning. I think that comprehensive book I said I would have preferred would have actually been far too overwhelming, leaving me intimidated and insecure. This book, above all things, is empowering.